Friendsgiving: COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
Patricia Angelin
Greenwood Lake, New Jersey, 1871 by Jasper F Cropsey
The last time I wrote to you was pre-pandemic. Boy, oh boy have things changed! Numero Uno, we are all, ALL of us in the world more anxious! There are “wars and rumors of wars“ all over the world, adding to our limbic systems’ internal readiness to avoid, or run and hide “at the drop of a hat.”
Number 2, is the Anger that stacks itself on top of our ongoing Anxiety, so that we can continue on continuing on—so that we can “do something“ in the world and push those anxieties down.
The result of all of our anxieties, and our anger which, as I said, does effect every single one of us, (and I do not exclude myself) all too often results in Sadness and perhaps Depression. It’s all of that held muscular tonus, those tensions in us! Our dear wonderful bodies are trying to assist us to release these muscle contractions within our sadness. Things are just so difficult now.
So,” here come the holidays!” Weeeeeee! Oh, dear, so many events, so many pressures for so many of us. Being with family, being with friends. All of their expectations, all of our expectations of ourselves in relation to them, so many tangles!
I was told yesterday by a young woman that she is having a “Friendsgiving,” which is so lovely; and I’ve been thinking about it. Why should we not have a number of parties? No reason at all. And “the more the merrier,” as my mother used to say.
And at your Thanksgiving feast, and actual Friendsgivings, as your teacher and partner in the discovery of EMOTION— yours, their’s and ours— don’t forget what it’s about… THANKS. GRATITUDE.
Cultivating an internal sense of gratitude for the persons around us, no matter how annoying they are or how challenging they may be, is a road to health. Wholeness of mind, heart and body, and yes, greater health of emotions.
The need to navigate the emotions of others in regard to us in the social situations, and in return, all that emotional reactivity to them, both delightful, and… Not… It’s part of our growth as human persons. Read my little blog post for “An Emotional Thanksgiving,” (2016) for a couple of the specific tactics to deal in the moment with one’s own reactivity.
But I adjure you, dear Emotional Reader, to begin this year at your Thanksgiving feast, and/or Friendsgiving feast to cultivate a clear, mental desire for more frequent gratitude in your life, as my great grandmother, Angelin, instructed us all “count your blessings.“ Is a very wise old, saying. When a person “counts blessings,” one is intentionally looking for, seeking out, causes for thankfulness in life. This is especially important when the stressed mount one upon the other in a seemingly endless pile, both from without and within” and are more and more strongly felt… the simple tactic of thinking to yourself, “OK self, count your blessings. There’s got to be something to be thankful for in this awful situation, (or in response to this terrible person, saying or doing terrible things, or not doing or saying what that person ought to do or say)! COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS: there is always, and I do mean always, something to be grateful for in Life. Do you make your own mind more by cultivating this ACTION and INTENTION and PRACTICE.
I look forward to hearing from you individually how you manage to implement this emotional advice, this EFFECTIVE EMOTIONAL TACTIC in these holidays! Thank you so much for reading and I look forward to seeing you in class.
Patricia Angelin