An Emotional Thanksgiving

Most North Americans celebrate Thanksgiving.

We look forward to both Feeling and expressing, gratitude,  which everybody agrees is a good! But - A big BUT - Family interpersonal dynamics, as we all know, are complicated! These complications make it very difficult in any given year to express, much less to feel, thankful. Some of our loved ones make us so angry that it's hard for us not to ‘pop ‘em one in the eye’. We certainly can't feel thankful for them when we are mad as hell. What to do?

From an  ALBA Technique point of view, I suggest that even those of you who have not yet had a chance to work with me, can begin doing something. Observe yourself! As I (only partially joking) say, "Observation is All!" 

Observe your own emotional reactivity. This in and of itself will give you a little bit of much-needed distance, while internally honoring what you feel emotionally in your body.  Once you observe and acknowledge that you are seriously pissed off (or perhaps even enraged), you are able to DECIDE not to escalate the problem! Disengage. Perhaps say something like, "I love you and I am thankful for you... but... I am not going to go any further with this right now. In fact, I am going for a walk. Alone! See you in half-an-hour. Love you! Bye!" Then leave.

Now, I get that you don't feel like you love them or are grateful for them in that moment!  Say it anyway. I promise you, taking The High Road always works over the long haul. Really.

Then, I say unto Thee again: get outta Dodge for that vigorous walk. That"ll direct your anger energies harmlessly and help dissipate them. [Caveat: don't allow yourself to keep feeding the Flame of your Anger by re-thinking over and over the argument during your walk!!! If you do that it'll be worse, not better, when you get back!!!]

This exercise cannot be about them; it is got to be totally about you: recognize the feeling and utilize the energy in your body that derives from that feeling. It's simple. But not easy. But I know you can do it.  You'll be so glad you did.